Our Clients and the Elephant in the Room

With every client, there’s often an elephant in the room. Who is this elephant? It is the self. The invisible and always present voice in our client’s head. It’s the elephant in the room because it’s the one big, usually obvious thing that prevents them from doing what they want to do, achieve, pursue, accomplish, avoid, or change.
 
The irony is this voice comes from the same mind who created the desired intention in the first place. So, there’s the struggle – the vicious circle of our client’s own creation. (I’m guessing that by now, you’ve realized we’re talking about ourselves too). In other words, we become our own worst enemy and biggest critic.
 
What if we could shut off the voice like a switch, how much would that be worth? Without being aware of it, most people attempt this every day. Trying to alter our state of mind through endless activities, drugs, alcohol, exercise, yoga, meditation, plant medicine, etc. All in attempt to stop the voices from running the show.
 
Most people understand what being in “the zone” feels like - doing something without thinking, just flowing without a sense of time, perhaps even a feeling of bliss. Even if it’s rare or just for a brief time, we usually love this experience. The zone is where we often feel our best and perform our best. It’s no coincidence that athletes try to get in this state of mind, at will. Unfortunately, the elephant in the room usually has something to say about that.
 
The science community has identified 6 important chemical reactions in the brain that occur when in the state of flow, they are, serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, endorphins, anandamide, and oxytocin. When these chemicals are active, they quiet the voice in the head, and can allow focus without interruption and access to the zone.
 
What does all this mean? Knowing about these chemicals might be intriguing but it doesn’t help to get us in the zone. When we’re working with our clients, using our amazing powerful questioning skills, and exploring different avenues, the client’s mind will either let you in or reject what you are saying, and you don’t always know for sure which one it is. In fact, the client may not even know because what they say and how they respond will not necessarily line up with what they will do.
 
Every human has this inner voice, and it has been well-trained to think the way it does, to keep us feeling safe and loved. The good news is that convincing even the most well-trained and stubborn elephants to consider new ideas and other possibilities is much easier than you might think. The self, the voice in the head, gets all its information from subconscious memories from all life experiences which drives current decisions and behavior.
 
A tool I use with my groups and individual clients is RIM (Regenerating Images in Memory). The process allows the client to naturally dip into a state where the elephant’s voice got it’s training in the first place. There, in this pliable state, we can take advantage of the science of neuroplasticity and regenerate a sense of safety and love all the elephant voices, so that it will cooperate with desired outcomes.
 
In RIM work, the whole brain is active allowing the perfect relevant subconscious programs to surface automatically, without any psychological manipulation whatsoever. The client is always in control and creates their own healing/growing journey. Through gentle, somatic sensing, neutral witnessing and following the client, stuck negative emotions surface and dissipate, making room for new positive feelings and freedom from old programs by creating new neuropathways in the brain.
 
Since there is no switch or app on our phone to turn off the voice in our head, RIM is the most powerful tool we’ve found to help clients get out of their own way. I hope you will join me on a journey of self-healing and helping clients break the vicious cycle of the voice in their head. By Mastering Emotional Processing Skills using RIM, you will never feel helpless no matter what shows up. I teach these skills online, live and at retreats. You can find more info and upcoming classes here. 

​Michael J. Kline is a Master RIM Facilitator and Trainer, Retreat Leader and Firekeeper. You can often find him teaching RIM (Regenerating Images in Memory), or assisting Jack Canfield training transformational trainers, or hosting a retreat at Con Smania in Costa Rica. Otherwise, he’s at home in Sarasota FL, with his husband of 34 years, and their labradoodle Luke. You can reach him through his website www.michaeljkline.com or e-mail [email protected]​

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